Everyday life reminds us that it is constantly changing. It makes you constantly reevaluate things. You can either change with life or hold firm to where you are and hope that it’s the right place. I find myself in a constant place where life is changing. I am constantly trying to figure out if I can deal with the new things around me.

I am learning that changing yourself to hope that it makes people like you more or life easier is only selling yourself short. The only person that you are truly hurting is yourself. We live in a world where it seems we should be free to be our true selves, but really it’s about being your true self according to what current society says is ok. We are still judged by what we say, how we dress or what we think. I want to be truly free to be me and not have to worry about what others think. I don’t want a world where I still have to watch what I say and not be able to truly be the person I am. Even though as a world that is in constant change we are told we can be true to ourselves, but that is only true if you fit into the world that is around you now. A woman who wants to be sexy once she is over 40 is still judged by what she wears. Society tells us that we as women, or anyone really, that once you reach a certain age you have to look and dress and act certain ways. That because you have reached an age over 40 you are not supposed to have wildness still in you. That the zest for life is only for the 20 year olds. Romance books are geared to the 20-30 year olds. Why because we don’t want love, great sex and adventure when we are over 40? IWANT TO BE ME!! I want to not feel judged because some of my opinions don’t match the current societal view. I want great sex and adventure and to dress the way that makes me feel sexy or pretty! I am over 40 and life has not stopped. Yes, I am a mom, but I am still that same person that I was inside in my 20’s. I still love life. So life has thrown curve ball my way. I have faced some major health issues so I have had to change for those things, but I can still live life and experience love and passion! I can still want to learn and help others when they need it. I am still worth while! I am on a constant adventure and I know I will be in a constant changing world and I will need to make adjustments, but I am determined to find me again and not be this person I have become to make society and the people around me comfortable. I want to be free to be a woman over 40 who still has a zest for life and adventure! I might not be there right now but I will be damned for not trying my hardest to be the person I know I am inside. I will be true to myself! Yes, it is going to be a struggle with some steps forward and some steps backward, but I am determined to get there, where ever there is, and enjoy the journey to getting there!